The Best Gift To Give Your Spouse


Who doesn't enjoy receiving a thoughtful gift? They key is thoughtful. One of the 5 Love Language according to Dr. Gary Chapman is that of 'Receiving Gifts'. (For a brief introduction to the 5 Love Languages, read this article, or to take the free online test, follow this link). A gift is something you can tangibly hold in your hand and remember that someone was thinking about you. You must be thinking of someone to give them a gift. The gift itself is a symbol of a thought. No matter if it costs money or not, what is important is that you were thinking of that person. Gifts are visual symbols of love. How do you give the perfect gift to your spouse? 


Here are some general guidelines to consider in giving the best gift to your partner:

  • Gifts can be purchased, found or made. 
  • Gifts do not need to be expensive. 
  • Think about what gifts your spouse has expressed excitement about receiving before.
  • Recruit the help of family or friends who really know your spouse.
  • Don't wait for a special occasion.
  • Your presence can be the best gift to give at certain times. 


Gifts and Money

Each of us has our own perspective regarding the purpose of money and different emotions associated with spending it. Some are savers, others are spenders. If you are in the first category, you may find it difficult to buy gifts for your spouse. It is important to realize that by saving and investing money you are buying emotional security and thus caring for your own emotional needs.  If you can see that purchasing gifts is an investment into the relationship, you may have an easier time spending money. 

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The Gift of Presence

In times of need, physical presence is the most powerful gift you can give if your spouse's primary love language is receiving gifts.  Being there when your spouse needs you speaks loudly of your love.  Your body becomes the symbol of your love. If the physical presence of your spouse is important, let your spouse know. Don't expect them to read your mind. If your spouse requests your presence, take it seriously. Dr. Chapman writes, "Almost everything ever written on the subject of love indicates that at the heart of love is the spirit of giving."


Action Step

If your love language is not receiving gifts and it is your spouse's love language, ask your spouse what they would like to receive during the day and the week to feel loved. Write it down on a list so you have ideas of what you can give them.  If they would appreciate flowers, get them flowers once a week. If it's bringing home takeout food for dinner once a week, make it happen. You can also have them go through a catalogue of items and circle gift ideas for bigger celebrations.  Set a reminder in your phone 1 month prior to their birthday, Christmas or Valentine's Day to start planning a gift for them. 



If you can identify with receiving gifts as your primary love language, what are small, inexpensive ways your spouse can show you love? If you are proficient in gift giving, can you share ideas of how to give thoughtful gifts to your spouse or children? If you are a saver, how do you overcome the thought of spending money?