Feeling Misunderstood? How To Have Fulfilling Relationships


Learning a language takes desire, dedication, commitment, and humility--it also takes a lifetime to master.  This could be said about love as well. Have you ever felt like you are trying to express your love to someone close to you and they just don’t seem to appreciate it?  Maybe it’s because you speak different love languages. Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the book "The 5 Love Languages”,  writes about the art of learning to express love in a way that others receive it and vice versa.  He explains that inside each of us exists an "invisible 'emotional love tank'" in need of filling. The way we fill the emotional love tank can be expressed in 5 different ways:

Words of Affirmation

Quality Time

Receiving Gifts

Acts of Service

Physical Touch

How do I discover my top love language(s)? Follow this link to take the free online test. 

According to Dr. Chapman, ask yourself these questions:

  • What makes you feel most loved by your spouse?
  • What do you desire above all else?
  • What have I most often requested from my spouse?
  • How do you consciously express your love to your spouse?

What if I speak a different language of love from the person I am trying to show love or appreciation to?

love language quote.png

In order for others to feel loved, we must first discover how they receive love best. 

This can work for both romantic and platonic relationships, with children, spouses, colleauges and friends. (See Dr. Chapman’s other books.)  For example, if you are trying to express your love by encouraging the other person with nice words, but their top love language is quality time, the words may seem empty unless you connect one-on-one with them.

Meeting the emotional need in your spouse is a choice, and by learning the love language of your spouse and speaking it frequently, they will continue to feel loved. 

If this concept of 'Love Languages' is new to you, does it make sense? Can you identify your top love language? Or your spouse's or children’s?