My Story As A Teenage Mom

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The Moment I Knew

Everything began a week before I would have my period. I felt different. It felt as if I couldn’t sleep at night, giving me a dreamy feeling. A few days later, I had a little spotting, but it was too early to get my period. Suddenly a thought came in to my head ‘’Maybe I am pregnant’’.  With that idea, the stress built up in my body. Could it really be true? I thought. I searched on the internet for symptoms during pregnancy, because as an almost 17 year-old girl I had no idea what happened during a pregnancy. I read the symptoms and in that moment I knew: I am pregnant. 

Positively Pregnant 

That day my boyfriend and I bought a pregnancy test. We did the test and we started to wait for the stripes to appear. After a long time of waiting the test was positive. So I was pregnant. We didn’t know what to think. We weren’t sad, because we didn’t realise what this really meant for our future. So many thoughts came flooding into our heads, but we thought the most about the moment when we tell our parents the truth. The next day we went to our parents to tell them they were going to be grandparents. My boyfriend's mother and stepfather were upset. Fortunately, my parents were a little milder in their reaction. I noticed that they supported us and looked for a solution with us. A few days later, we also told my boyfriend's father and stepmother with a few tears. They also supported us from that moment. It was nice to get more positive reactions. 

The days after we told our parents we are expecting a baby, there was a tension in the home. Everyone had to recover from the fright and we didn’t know how to move on. Our parents consulted with his four parents on what the best solution was, but they didn’t know after one conversation. Finally my boyfriend and I decided what we wanted the most and that was to live together as a family. Fortunately we were not the only ones who thought that was a good desicion. As I look back, it was the best decision we could make. It made my boyfriend and I stronger in our relationship. 

The First Ultrasound

A few days before the first ultrasound, the rumor went around that I was pregnant. I felt like I was judged, but I had no idea who already knew of the pregnancy. That made me feel nervous. Because I had not had an ultrasound, it was very difficult that many already knew that I was pregnant. Maybe the baby wasn't even alive and everyone found out too soon. My first ultrasound was at eight weeks. We saw a beating heart in the small circle on the screen! It was special to see our baby. After all those miserable weeks, we were finally able to enjoy a beautiful moment. Our baby is alive! We were obviously happy that this was good news, because after four weeks we were already used to the idea that we would become parents. Although a miscarriage would solve a lot of issues, we were pleased with the beating heart. The following day we posted a message of our wonderful news on Facebook. With tension we were waiting for the reactions, we were expecting some negative reactions. A lot of people congratulated us. We were relieved that everyone now knew about the pregnancy. 

In the weeks that followed, I began to get used to the idea that I would become a mother. My biggest wish has always been to start a family, but it was not my intention to start a family in this way. The pregnancy went well. Even though I was under extra control, our baby grew well. Of course there were some uncomfortable moments during the pregnancy, but that is part of it. 

Childbirth 

One month before I was due to give birth, my boyfriend, Julian, came to live with me. As the baby could come at any moment, we felt it was time. We were glad we could finally be together. From that moment on, I was ready to have the baby. For me, the contractions could not start soon enough. I was very curious about our baby and it was hard to sleep at night, especially since I was up going to the toilet so often. I couldn't sleep anymore either due to stress. Every evening I told my boyfriend: will it happen tonight? But every morning I was woke up with disappointment. At 40 weeks and 4 days the contractions began. It was painful! But fortunately it did not take long. After only 5 1/2 hours our son was born. He was so beautiful! I could not believe it, now at seventeen years old, I was suddenly a mother of a beautiful son. 

The weeks after childbirth, I found it difficult to enjoy motherhood. I suffered a lot of pain and it was hard to realize that I was a mother. I also found it hard to enjoy my son. I felt a lot of pressure. Recently, I've been in therapy to process everything. 

A Year Later  

I'm glad I'm a teenage mother! 

Now my son is a year old. My boyfriend and I got married and now we live on our own. Our son is doing very well! He is a very calm, happy boy, and is very smart. He knows exactly what he wants and does not want. He loves music. I am also doing a lot better than I was a year ago. I enjoy motherhood now and feel blessed that I could become a mother, because I realize that there are women who will never have children. That's why I always say: I would rather be a teenage mother than never have any children at all. Some people have compassion on me. They find it sad that I have to take care of a child now, but being a teenage mother is not sad! Sometimes it's heavy and I think about how my life would be if I had not become pregnant, but I can never answer that thought. That's why I'd rather look forward. I'm proud of what my husband and I have achieved together. We see our future three times very positive. 

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Maureen
Maureen and her husband Julian and their son Thimjen live in The Netherlands. You can read more of her blog, which is written in Dutch here: https://www.mamamaureen.nl You can also follow her on instagram: @mamamaureen.blog