How You Can Win All The Time
How I win, win, win all the time and you can too!
She walked through the door to our office... We all knew it... Someone was getting fired. Imagine the nicest and most positive HR director you can find. You see, she rarely visited any of the local offices unless someone was getting the boot. She carried this reputation ever since she had to fire an entire division. Anyway by now you probably figured out who got booted, that day almost 6 years ago, I got cut from the payroll as I was told my role as project manager was no longer. Maybe you too have experienced something similar and the gut-wrenching feeling of, what next?
At the time I might have seen it as a loss, though today I see it as one of my greatest assets. LOSING, you see I used to LOVE WINNING and HATE LOSING.
And growing up, a loss was considered the biggest blow. That is until I started realizing that we can lose a battle but still win the war! That is if you learn, grow and expand your horizon for every situation that might seem like a loss! A loss can truly be your GREATEST WIN. My intuition tells me there are a few keys to get the most out of every 'loss' on your journey.
1. Don't Assign Meaning
Don't assign meaning to your failure. Don't assume something is negative or bad before you see it play out to the end. I mean how can you know how this will play out in 1...3...5 years from now? Quite often our experiences in the past shape our assumptions or expectations about the future. Negative assumptions as well as unfulfilled expectations can be our greatest downfall. The challenge is to remain neutral, and yet have hope, stay present, practice gratitude and wait it out. It is more difficult to stay in the unknown, but the rewards are so much better if you wait it out.
2. Worth Fighting For
Have something worth growing and fighting for. This includes your family, your purpose and/or your calling. There is a saying that says, "if you stand for nothing, you'll fall for everything." What are you willing to stand up and fight for? What gets your heart racing? What are you passionate about? What gets you motivated to wake up every morning? What injustices do you see around you that you want to take a stand against? Another saying says, "what is worth dying for? Then you have found what is worth living for."
3. Applied Experience
If you are committed to growing and applying what you have learned through your experiences it will make all the difference when other opportunities in life, business or love come up. Next time you will be ready to strike when the opportunity occurs and you will be better equipped to be successful. Your greatest tool is self-awareness. Discover what your strengths are and build upon those in order to be prepared for the battles when they come. Note, I said when they come, not if they come. Battles are a part of life. As they say, "it's not the size of man in the battle, but the size of the fight in the man." Your failings can become your fuel for fight, if you allow them.
4. Long-term Perspective
Perspective is vital to life. I have heard it said that "Many overestimate what they can do in 1 year and underestimate what they can do in 10 years." Yes, I know what it is like to want things NOW. As the Swedish saying goes "the one who waits for something good never waits too long", meaning work for something that is worth it in the long run because really great accomplishment ALWAYS takes longer than you think!
5. Whose Opinion Matters?
Whose opinion do you really value? Come on, let's be real about it! Who has the say if you can be proud of what you have accomplished. Your Mom, Dad, siblings, partner, friends, boss, children? Whose voice do you hear when you've 'failed'? What does that voice tell you? 'I told you that you would fail' 'you are never enough' 'you are good for nothing' Whatever that voice tells you IT doesn't really matter if you are going to WIN the game! Listen to those people who encourage you, and let go of the negative voices. Easier said than done, I know. Keep in mind what you are moving towards, remind yourself of what is true, good, and right!
5. Good Intentions
The right motives and good intent are key factors behind winning. If what you are going towards doesn't match with your values, your passion for it will quickly fizzle. If everything goes sour, ask yourself whether your motives are pure? If your intentions are good, then you are already on your way towards winning.
Take a moment and ask yourself this: if you have a dream, your own business, if you desire to grow within your career, create and implement the values you want for your family. Is it still worth doing if it takes you 3, 5, 10 years longer than you originally thought?
I grew up playing soccer for 13 years, and there was a common saying: "It ain't over until the referee blows the whistle", meaning you haven't lost until the very end. As the wise saying says, "as a man thinketh so is he". How we view the world makes all the difference.
I mean who is most right--the optimist or the pessimist? Statistically they would likely be spot on with their predictions about the same number of times. THOUGH the crucial question comes to mind, who had the greatest life and left the best legacy? The one with optimism or the one without? Now, you can be either, though realize it will also decide how things turn out.
My father in-law once said: "be mindful about preconceived ideas in a situation before it has happened." Now, as I have experienced more in life, I realize how true that is. My dad used to say "don't worry about the things that would likely happen anyway."
Now if all challenges and failures are an opportunity for growth, it means that ultimately... I WIN!
The choice is yours, now lets go out there and create a greater life, a life worth living! When was the last time you had an unexpected 'loss' turn into a win? Share your thoughts and comments below!